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| What we teach our children matters, so we must teach them well. |
Where do you begin? Parenting is so confusing at first. By the time you get it figured out the kids are already older. My parents said they didn't want to interfere with our parenting so they waited for us to ask for their advice. Same with my in-laws. Somehow they all just knew that we weren't ready to be lectured to. When everyone else was giving us unwanted advice we rolled our eyes at each other.
I think the lesson I'll pass on to my kids when they are grown is that it's best to wait for your children to ask for help. At every age there is a way they ask for help, but it changes over time. Let them try to do their best first. Don't be so quick to intervene (unless they're about to set the kitchen on fire!).
Burning kitchens aside, I appreciate mom and dad being patient with me when I was growing up. They gave me space to learn and make my own mistakes. And they both worked full-time jobs. That helped me learn from a few mistakes.
People have different ideas about what you should pass down to the children. Here are a few interesting articles I found. There are literally hundreds of these articles and I don't have time to read them all. But I thought these were pretty good.
Twelve Cool Things To Pass Down To Your Kids by SlingingTheBull.Com. Number 1 on the list is photo albums. You know, everyone in my family remembers pictures being taken when they were kids. But no one is sure of what happened to grandma's photo album. I hope it's collecting dust in an old box that will one day be discovered and opened by one of us.
I like item no. 5, too. I shouldn't say this but I will. After I got married we really struggled to make ends meet. Who doesn't when they first start out? We bought used appliances. My in-laws bought a new refrigerator about that time and gave their old one away. I don't remember who they gave it to and I'm sure that person needed it. But they could have given their own daughter a refrigerator. It would have saved us some money at a time when we really needed it.
5 Things Every Family Should Teach Their Children by FactElves.Com. This is a health-conscious article. It mentions managing healthcare on a budget and family medical history.
You know, healthcare begins with simple things like first aid. Of course we have an assortment of bandages and creams for cuts and scrapes. But after reading that article I thought to myself we could probably teach our kids some home remedies. The two older ones are ready for a little family lore.
Money management comes up on a lot of these lists. Fact Elves covers that point, too. Personal finance is so hard for people I wish I had been better at it when we started out. But you know what? I probably would not have listened. Sorry, dad.
10 Important Things You Can Teach Your Child by Age 10 by Brightside Me. I think equal respect for both boys and girls is important and I'm glad they put it at the top of the list.
A lot of these suggestions are about self-esteem. Building a child's self-esteem requires patience, love, and understanding. You don't realize how fragile a child's ego and emotions can be until you say something that hurts them. I've found myself in doubt a few times. Should I correct myself or just try better the next time? As a parent you'll second-guess yourself. Some people just parent away without a care in the world. I feel like I have to work a little harder at it myself.
5 life lessons parents should pass on to their children by the Unfit Parent. When you watch your kids discovering the world and developing a passion for something you feel unworthy. How was I ever blessed with this child?
And then they have a temper tantrum or whatever and you come back down to Earth. But you don't love them any less.
What I like about the Unfit Parent's list is that it tackles some of the hard life lessons we need to teach our children. Parents often say "no" to their kids, but when do we teach them to say "no" in the right situation? They learn to say "no" back to us but that's not the same.
Teaching a child when to say "no" is a very important life lesson. It might save their life one day, because if they say "yes" to the wrong person or thing they could end up in a bad way.
We don't have to be popular with everyone. I don't know anyone who really does want to be a popularity king or queen. But some people do try harder to be popular than others. I want my kids to feel like they can be who they want to be. I don't want them trying to live up to someone else's demands and expectations.
It's cool to be yourself. It's not cool to force others to be like you. I wish a few million American adults had learned that lesson growing up. I'll just end it there.
